Why Cats and I Do Not Get Along

There are many stories behind that title. Many. But I'll just bless you with one story behind the title. One that happened yesterday morning.

Careful! Don't let the cuteness suck you in!!! Read on...

We have a bush in front of our kitchen window that I’ve been in denial that it is dead….oh, let’s just say for the last few years. Hey, there are some green leaves on it every now and then….I just didn’t want to pull the plug!
And, we have kittens which are probably more like teens since they were born early spring.

The said bush is right in front of the kitchen window where we have a kitchen table. Almost each morning, one of the teen cats will climb up the bush, which the limbs lean toward the house, and meow when someone is eating breakfast. Honestly, at first I thought it was cute. But, I usually pull the blind after I see one climbing so it doesn’t try to jump on the screen.

On this particular morning, I hear a noise while in another room. I asked my son what the noise was since he and I are the only ones home. He calmly says it was a kitten (aka teen cat) that jumped on the screen. Yes, this alarmed me. I travel quickly to the kitchen and find the screen ripped/shredded. Oh. Boy. Was. I. Angry.

I am in the process of closing the window when I see another teen cat climb up on the bush, stopping to sharpen its claws mind you, and starts eyeballing the screen again. I, yes, a grown woman, HISS and clap and make all sorts of noise to scare the stupid, yes stupid, thing. At which point my son informs me that the cat I just scared wasn’t the one that jumped on the screen. LIKE. I. CARE. I think they were having a competition on who could ruin my screen more!!!!!

So I do the next logical step. I have my son go down in the basement and get the tool to cut the bush down (some sort of hand tool thing). Let’s just say NO cat/kitten/or anything will be climbing that bush stump anytime soon!! Yup, I pulled the plug finally. I even threw the branches at the cats/kitten that had the nerve to sit there and watch. And then they just came back after I came close to hitting them w/the branches. (no cats/kittens were hurt in the angry tirade) Dumb. Cats. Oh. Man. I’m still mad. We can’t open up that window now since the screen is really quite ripped.

AND I really don’t want to have to tell hubs he needs to fix one more thing. That will win me the coveted wife of the year award. Dumb cats. Dogs are so much smarter…..well, at least at the moment that is my outlook about dogs….until mine does something dumb again!!