Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hitting Hard Times

Hard times. We all have them. We all should expect them...but it doesn't make it any easier to know that! December and January have been difficult months for me.

December hit me with a "life is not fair" situation. If you have been reading my posts, you know I'm a crier. So, can you guess what my first reaction was? Yup, tears. I'm trying to become friends with my emotional tears...we are acquaintances thus far—still working on the friendship thing. Then, after the tears, I became very angry. Extremely angry. "It's not fair, God!" was my cry. My attitude became downright embarrassing. The Bible verse, "But, Lord, surely he stinkth!" (John 11:39) came to mind often. Do you think God was trying to tell me something? I have since some to grips with the situation even though I'm still not happy with the outcome and think of it as "life's not fair". And, frankly, there are days my attitude "surely stinketh"! But I'm trying and right now, that is what I cling to.

The very end of December and now into January, I was hit with another problem that screams, "What!? You can't be serious!" This solution is not an easy one. In fact, I resigned from my volunteer position at the church (working with pre-teen/teen girls) because this unfair problem is so at the forefront of my mind, I can't even begin to concentrate on my work with these beautiful girls. I felt terrible quitting but the passion and focus for this ministry were both gone. I'm not sure this current problem is going to resolve itself any time soon and it is something that one needs to be proactive.

The "life is not fair" situation is just something I need to learn to deal with. Life is not going to be fair, no matter how much you think it should be! It is basically one of those "put on your big girl panties and deal with it". Sometimes you just need to chalk up those situations as learning experiences and work on areas of ones life that need a little tweeking. God is in control and sometimes one needs to keep on repeating that from time to time.

The "What?! You can't be serious!" problem isn't as easy. It concerns more than just me. It is a problem that has so many twists and turns. It can't be solved by my attitude being adjusted or learning to change a part of myself...although when it is said and done, there probably is something I'll need to work on! It is a huge problem in my life right now. It calls for energy when I have none. And, sadly, it calls for patience. I'm. Not. Patient. Period. I know I need to work on it. But now?! Sigh.

Both of the situations I mentioned require me to lean heavy on God and God's people. It is an extremely humbling experience to ask others to pray about the situations. And at the same time, it is amazing and tear provoking to think of all the prayers going up for us. People are generous. People are caring. People are loving. People are encouraging. People send emails with verses that so totally apply, it is amazing. And people have NOT preached that I do not have enough faith or any number of things that people shouldn't say! I love these people.

I will still love God no matter the outcome. But it doesn't mean I'm not fearful of the may be the complete opposite of what I want. That scares me. You see, this situation affects someone I deeply love. But doesn't God know so much more than me? Why is it so hard to relinquish control to God? Isn't it amazing that God really doesn't need us telling Him what is right for us?!

I also need to keep these situations in my life in perspective. Our marriage is fine. Our family's health is fine. My problems are tiny compaired to those in Haiti, those with cancer or serious illness, those in constant pain, those who have buried children or any number of scenarios.

Do I want a quick fix. You bet 'ya. Am I frustrated beyond frustrated? A definite yes! Is God's plan better than mine? 100% yes.

So, I cling to verses as these:

When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation
brought joy to my soul.
~Psalm 94:18-19

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and
not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
~Isaiah 40:29-31
A friend posted this on her facebook status this morning. I think it is very appropriate, don't you?
"Psalm 34:18 (NIV) "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed in spirit."
 ...Message version...
"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."

How do you handle the hard times/storms when they come along?
How do you support someone who has a stuggle or two in their life?
How has the Spirit led you to encourge someone?


  1. I think of you often. I pray for you! Rom. 15:13...May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and PEACE as you TRUST in Him.......
    You are a blessing!

  2. Thanks Rebecca!! That means a ton! Another great verse that I can cling to!!