So many words

So many words are just a jumble in my mind. So many. It's hard to put my thoughts into sentences that would make sense to anyone living outside my mind. Shoot, anyone inside my mind would be yelling, "Whaaaaa?!"

Many changes have taken place and I'm trying to wrap my mind around a few things. I just wanted you to know, if anyone reads this thing called a blog (what kind of word is blog, anyway?!), I'm still around. I've always wondered when others have seemingly dropped off the face of the 'blog' if that person is okay. My mind goes to all kinds of drama and I tend to wonder. So, wonder no more, reader...all three of you. :)

I shall return soon. Carry on with your life. I know you can do it! ;)

Some Weekend

Oh my dear friends. Some weekends are full of busyness. Some are a blessing of much needed rest and downtime. This weekend, however, has run a gamut of feelings.

Most of you know, if you've been reading long or personally know me, that our Dancer Daughter is in a foreign land. Nepal to be exact. Yes, the same Nepal that had the major earthquake. 

Saturday morning I woke up early. Yes, I'm old and sleeping in is really a young person's sport. I'm in the habit of getting on the internet first thing in the morning. Don't judge. It's how I wake up. There's nothing like the bright light from the computer to get one going. Since our daughter is in a different time zone, if she emails me there is one waiting for me in the morning. 

Facebook has this thing called Trending which I normally ignore. Of course that morning I had to look. First line read Kathmandu Nepal earthquake... Let's just say the blood from my face drained like it did when Writer Daughter called me telling me she was in an accident. Because EARTHQUAKE. Because buildings tend to FALL when the earth shakes. Because THIRD-WORLD country. Moms, can I get an "I hear ya" when your mind goes someplace you don't want it to go?!

After calling my husband into the room and telling him, I furiously typed a message to one of the staff of the organization who remained stateside. I didn't know if she knew yet since it was early in the morning and well, she is young and can actually sleep in on a Saturday. Within thirty minutes she responded that she was just seeing this as well and calling the director (also stateside). 

In the meantime I found another post by the organization in which Dancer Daughter staffs telling of the earthquake and the team is safe. And, a few minutes later I heard the same news from the staff person I made contact with. My fear turned into gratefulness. 

Yes, of course a plethora of concerns rolled through my head after hearing of their safety and I had to remove myself from the internet. All the what-ifs. Then my mind went back to a post I wrote on this blog before they left for the foreign land. It was something God showed me while I was in the midst of fear because of all the terrible things happening in the world. 

All I can do is trust she is in God's mighty, strong, and powerful hands. All one can do is pray. And, prayer is everything!

As I prayed for her (and the others) and their protection, God allowed me to see a huge 'army' of extremely tall Angels surrounding them in this foreign land. Yet, it wasn't just them in this fortress of protection. People of that land were in the circle with them. I saw smiles and heard laughter even with the dreaded language barriers. And, I saw an agape* love. As the group moved, so did the Angels. Some Angels were turned in watching, some were turned out, guarding.

I prayed for the group going to have a strong sense of the Holy Spirit. To move when the Spirit whispers, "Move." To stop (immediately) when the Spirit shouts, "Stop!" To be so in-tune with God that every whisper, every song of laughter, every ungraceful movement, every bit of eye contact with others will be a Holy Moment and God will shine through bright and beautiful as He smiles at their hearts.

I don't know why God protected the team and not the thousands who died. I don't know. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that. However, I do have faith that the church in that country and others will show up in big ways. Ways that only God can provide. It's the only way to make any sense out of the tragedy. 

Here is a great way and a safe way to give money to the rebuilding of Nepal if you are interested. Click on  this  and 100% of your donation will go to Nepal!! Or here until May 15 for a really cool t-shirt!

Our daughter is still there. There are aftershocks. All I can do is pray. I've already warned her when she comes home-home we are coming inside the airport (aka pay a ridiculous amount of money to park a vehicle) and to prepare herself for a proper hug.

And, Firefighter boy became an adult today. I blinked. I admit it. How can it be our youngest is a senior in high school and about to graduate? So, we do what my family does well...we ate our way through his birthday weekend. 

I may have been stress eating just a tad. ☺

So, how was your weekend? ☺

Easter and Stuff

Easter is upon us. Does it "feel" like it? Or maybe it's just me.

Honestly, Easter has sneaked up on me. Maybe it is the nasty head cold. Maybe it's extra hours put in at work. Maybe it's thinking about everything that needs to be done with graduating my youngest and throwing a party. Maybe it's just a season in my life. Maybe I'm missing my girl who is celebrating Easter in another country. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Embarrassingly, I am a pro at coming up with excuses. Seriously, Christ died for me (and you) and I'm over here belly-achin'. God is in my life (our lives) every.single.day. And, I can't rejoice over the huge thing He did for me (and you)?! 

Maybe, just maybe, I'm looking for all the good feelings when I should be in awe of what He did for me (us). It is more than Peanut Butter Eggs, Easter Egg Hunts, family meals and the "work" involved.

Jesus had a moment of "ok, God, if you want to find another way I'd be okay with that" but he was obedient. He was the sacrificial lamb that was foretold years and years before it finally came to pass. He died for our sin, our shame, our guilt. The grave couldn't hold Him...we rose from the grave!!!! I should be shouting from the rooftops!

So, as I was not feeling all Easter-y, I came across the first song (video below the lyrics). He is so good to me (us)....even in the times of yuck. He is good. I may need to look closer during those yuck times but He is there holding me (us) up, comforting me (us), loving me (us).

The last video is just a wonderful song that reminds me of how much God loves me (us). How different would my life be if He hadn't "paid it all"?

Enjoy and Happy Easter!!!

                                                              "Good To Me"

I put all my hope in the truth of Your promise
And I steady my heart on the ground of Your goodness
When I'm bowed down with sorrow I will lift up Your name
And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Because You are good to me, good to me

I lift up my eyes to the hills where my help is found
Your voice fills the night - raise my head up to hear the sound
Though fires burn all around me I will praise You, my God
And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Because You are good to me, good to me

Your goodness and mercy shall follow me
All my life
I will trust in Your promise

                                                            "Jesus Paid It All"

(Oh, Praise the One)

I hear the Savior say,
Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper's spots
and melt the heart of stone.

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
Jesus died my soul to save,
my lips shall still repeat

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow

O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead
O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow
He washed it white as snow

The Coffee Jitterbug

Confession. I don't like coffee. I like the smell of coffee but not the smell of gross strong/bitter coffee.  As a child I used to dip my cookie in my dad's coffee just to mimic him. But, gross!

Socially, coffee is key. How many times does your friend call and say, "Would you like to meet for water?" So, when I would like to meet a friend or a friend asks me to meet it always "coffee". And, I'm not complaining. I am more than willing.

I lovingly refer to my coffee as just something to hold the cream/flavoring and sugar. I, also, tell the barista I want only half the amount of coffee in my foo-foo drink. Most of the time, that does the trick. All of this back-story to tell you....

Yesterday, I met a lovely friend for coffee. She told me she liked the 'house' coffee better than the foo-foo drinks. I asked if there was cream and sugar to add and she assured me there was enough to go around. So, I ordered a coffee...not a foo-foo drink. I felt so grown up.

I added a little bit of sugar and creamer and sipped. I hope there wasn't a camera focused on me as made a bitter-coffee-face. My friend, who adores coffee, commented it tasted like it was burnt. Great. So, we added more and more creamer and sugar just to make it drinkable. I may or may not have added a quarter cup of sugar. I'm not exaggerating.

We found a cute, little table in the corner and talked a-mile-a-minute jumping from one subject to another. We were having a grand time catching up. It had been way too long since we had seen or talked with each other. My friend is so much fun; giggles and cackling were hard to control.

In a smaller town, you are bound to see someone you know walk into the coffee shop. Well, that happened. It was good. Very good. However, as I talk I often start playing with whatever is on the table like confetti or the napkin. My hubs gets annoyed often at this and removes the item from my reach. It is only then I realize I'm playing with that object while talking. Aren't husbands just great?!

I had not finished my coffee and had about a quarter of the cup left (probably the quarter with all the sugar in it). I was talking and playing with the napkin...that was underneath my coffee cup. You know, the one with coffee still in it. (can you see where this is headed?)

I'm not sure how it happened. But.it.happened. And, not in slow motion either. Next thing I know I'm grabbing for the cup that was titling my way and spewing liquid toward and all over me. My friend has the normal reaction and gasps. What do you do when someone gasps loudly in public. Yup, all eyes were glued on me. My friend and the friend who had walked in and was talking with us grabbed napkins and became my mommy. I now know what it feels like to be a child who just spilled her milk. It was all over me, my shoes, the floor, the table. And, who knows why but everything was sticky after we wiped it up. (wink, wink--

all that sugar!)

I tried to wipe up my shirt and jeans with a napkin. Do you know what happens when you try to wipe up wet clothing with a napkin? You guessed it. I not only had a huge wet spot on my shirt and looked like I peed my pants, but now I have white "crumbles" on my shirt and jeans. Dark shirt and dark jeans with white "crumbles". Let's just draw more attention to myself why don't we?!

How embarrassing, yet how funny!

Everything is alright. I sprayed down my shoes, and put stain releaser on my clothing when I got home.  I'm talking everything had a stain on it! It was so bad I had to take a quick shower before work. I thanked my friend for being my mommy and we agreed we needed to do this again...minus the coffee fiasco!

Moral of the story: never get in the habit of playing with items at the table while talking. Bad, very bad, things can happen. ☺ And, always accept the coffee invitation. There is always enough sugar and creamer!

Up in the Air

Dancer Daughter is up in the air right now. Literally. Which has me thinking about the laws of physics. Because GRAVITY, people! Yes, I know the tube hurdling through the air is hurdling-through-the-air because of acceleration, thrust, wings and all kinds of other things I'm sure I don't understand.

Many things happen in our lives. Joys, sorrows, and 'eh' days. It's easy to have faith in the times of joy. But, when sorrows and 'eh' days hit us, that's a little harder. Those are the times I wonder. I don't lose faith; I just wonder. And, that is okay. God sets me straight pretty quickly in reminding me of all He has given and sacrificed for me (us).

So, while she is hurdling through the air at 470 knots, I have to think about the faith it took the Wright Brothers to jump in their first plane and attempt to fly. Sure, they had one of God's designs (bird) to work off of and learn from but did doubt enter their minds? I have to believe it did. But it just took one leap of faith. That is all it took.

Are you ready to leap and do what God's been laying on your heart? Nudging you?

When the world goes mad

...or perhaps it's just me.

Day after day the media portrays the world in utter chaos. If it isn't catastrophic weather turning lives up-side-down, it's people groups hurting, and often killing, others.

"Don't watch the news," voices shout. "It's depressing."

Yes, yes it is. But, we cannot live under a rock either. It's messy out there. And, in the messy bits of life we learn. We learn compassion, grace, mercy and what it looks like outside of our own messy life.

As much as I have fears (or as my mom would say, "concern" because 'fear' is not a word for a Christian...I may have rolled my eyes when she said that.) about loved ones and certain circumstances, I have to believe, HAVE to believe, God is still God. God is still holding us.

"Yeah, right. If there was a God then he must be pretty cruel. Children are starving. People doing his work are getting kidnapped or killed. How can you believe in someone so cruel?"

Hasn't every Christian heard that at some point in their lives? I don't know the answers. Only God knows. I believe He allows things to happen. I don't know why. Just that He does. God can see the bigger picture. I can't. And, ONLY God knows is all I need.

Have you ever gone through a tough time and wonder why? Then, months or even years later you realize if you hadn't gone through 'x' then 'y' would never have happened. And, 'y' is usually pretty awesome.

Am I freaked out that I have a child going overseas in the future? You bet. All I can do is trust she is in God's mighty, strong, and powerful hands. All one can do is pray. And, prayer is everything!

As I prayed for her (and the others) and their protection, God allowed me to see a huge 'army' of extremely tall Angels surrounding them in this foreign land. Yet, it wasn't just them in this fortress of protection. People of that land were in the circle with them. I saw smiles and heard laughter even with the dreaded language barriers. And, I saw an agape* love. As the group moved, so did the Angels. Some Angels were turned in watching, some were turned out, guarding.

I prayed for the group going to have a strong sense of the Holy Spirit. To move when the Spirit whispers, "Move." To stop (immediately) when the Spirit shouts, "Stop!" To be so in-tune with God that every whisper, every song of laughter, every ungraceful movement, every bit of eye contact with others will be a Holy Moment and God will shine through bright and beautiful as He smiles at their hearts.

May we all have a 'vision' of God's love for us and others in our moments of fear. Peace, to you.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  ~~  Philippians 4:6-7

 *Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. It perfectly describes the kind of love Jesus has for his Father and his followers. Jesus showed us agape love through the cross. 

Step, Pause, Step, Step

For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14

For such a time as this. The story of Esther has always intrigued me. It quickly became one of my favorite books of the Bible. But, imagine my surprise when I learned from a Beth Moore Bible Study that this is the only book of the Bible that doesn't mention God. I know. I should have figured that out before but sometimes it's the little things that escape notice. Even though the book of Esther doesn't not mention God, He is there. He is here.

Esther was given a huge task. One that I'm sure had her shaking in her sandals. She was asked to go to the King (her husband) and plead for the lives of the Jews. Her people. Only the King didn't know the Jews were her people. Plus, the King didn't "call" for her in thirty days meaning there was already trouble in paradise. Can you just imagine Esther's nervousness and knowing if the King did not find favor in her just showing up unexpected he could have her killed? Talk about wanting to throw up!!

Not only in this section of the book of Esther, but in the whole book, notice how Esther was never alone. She had others around her. Supporting her. Encouraging her. Giving her the needed pep talk. Guiding her. She had community - one in which she could call upon to fast and pray. God puts other in our lives for 'such a time as this'.

Hubs alarm sounds-off at way-too-early-o'clock in the morning. Sometime God chooses this early morning time to have a talk with me instead of allowing me to snatch some more zzzz. I think God has chosen this time because He knows I get easily distracted. But, the only thing to distract me is hearing my husband get ready for work. So, this morning, He reminded me of Esther 4:14 (above) and began playing the song Anthem in my brain. (video at the end of post)

There is a section in this song that God showed me taking a step after each sentence..and sometimes pausing after a step. It was like a spiritual mantra in my head.

Imagine with me, if you will. God can do "stuff" without us. But, He chooses us to walk along side of Him. It's like when our children are learning to walk or ride a bike with out training wheels for the first time. We hold the baby's hands and help him/her walk. We run beside the bike holding on until the right moment and let go - but we still run along side of them and the bike just in case they wobble.

Whatever your destiny, wherever He calls you, He is there. He is calling you to obedience. We just only need to be brave and move. And, honestly, the moving part is the scariest. 

I am royalty. [step, pause]

I have destiny. [step, pause]

I have been set free [step]

I'm gonna shape history. [step]

[And, repeat!!!]