Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Coffee Jitterbug

Confession. I don't like coffee. I like the smell of coffee but not the smell of gross strong/bitter coffee.  As a child I used to dip my cookie in my dad's coffee just to mimic him. But, gross!

Socially, coffee is key. How many times does your friend call and say, "Would you like to meet for water?" So, when I would like to meet a friend or a friend asks me to meet it always "coffee". And, I'm not complaining. I am more than willing.

I lovingly refer to my coffee as just something to hold the cream/flavoring and sugar. I, also, tell the barista I want only half the amount of coffee in my foo-foo drink. Most of the time, that does the trick. All of this back-story to tell you....

Yesterday, I met a lovely friend for coffee. She told me she liked the 'house' coffee better than the foo-foo drinks. I asked if there was cream and sugar to add and she assured me there was enough to go around. So, I ordered a coffee...not a foo-foo drink. I felt so grown up.

I added a little bit of sugar and creamer and sipped. I hope there wasn't a camera focused on me as made a bitter-coffee-face. My friend, who adores coffee, commented it tasted like it was burnt. Great. So, we added more and more creamer and sugar just to make it drinkable. I may or may not have added a quarter cup of sugar. I'm not exaggerating.

We found a cute, little table in the corner and talked a-mile-a-minute jumping from one subject to another. We were having a grand time catching up. It had been way too long since we had seen or talked with each other. My friend is so much fun; giggles and cackling were hard to control.

In a smaller town, you are bound to see someone you know walk into the coffee shop. Well, that happened. It was good. Very good. However, as I talk I often start playing with whatever is on the table like confetti or the napkin. My hubs gets annoyed often at this and removes the item from my reach. It is only then I realize I'm playing with that object while talking. Aren't husbands just great?!

I had not finished my coffee and had about a quarter of the cup left (probably the quarter with all the sugar in it). I was talking and playing with the napkin...that was underneath my coffee cup. You know, the one with coffee still in it. (can you see where this is headed?)

I'm not sure how it happened. And, not in slow motion either. Next thing I know I'm grabbing for the cup that was titling my way and spewing liquid toward and all over me. My friend has the normal reaction and gasps. What do you do when someone gasps loudly in public. Yup, all eyes were glued on me. My friend and the friend who had walked in and was talking with us grabbed napkins and became my mommy. I now know what it feels like to be a child who just spilled her milk. It was all over me, my shoes, the floor, the table. And, who knows why but everything was sticky after we wiped it up. (wink, wink--
all that sugar!)

I tried to wipe up my shirt and jeans with a napkin. Do you know what happens when you try to wipe up wet clothing with a napkin? You guessed it. I not only had a huge wet spot on my shirt and looked like I peed my pants, but now I have white "crumbles" on my shirt and jeans. Dark shirt and dark jeans with white "crumbles". Let's just draw more attention to myself why don't we?!

How embarrassing, yet how funny!

Everything is alright. I sprayed down my shoes, and put stain releaser on my clothing when I got home.  I'm talking everything had a stain on it! It was so bad I had to take a quick shower before work. I thanked my friend for being my mommy and we agreed we needed to do this again...minus the coffee fiasco!

Moral of the story: never get in the habit of playing with items at the table while talking. Bad, very bad, things can happen. ☺ And, always accept the coffee invitation. There is always enough sugar and creamer!

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