And...

In the past, many have chosen a word for the coming year. For example. "Be". As in be present. Be in the Word. Be accountable and so on and so forth.

For a while now I've been drawn to the "and" sign. The ampersand...&. Have you ever thought about the ampersand? To me it stands for many beginnings as well as endings. It seems like a good sign for an ever-flowing, season-filled life.

No matter what we go through in life, there is always an and. 

As I was looking for a picture of an ampersand, since I can't seem to find my very own ampersand for our house, yet, I saw the picture below and it seemed to go perfectly with my thoughts. 

"Resembling a broken infinity, the ampersand reminds
us that nothing truly lasts forever but there is always an AND"

Are you choosing a word, phrase or symbol for the new year? Share in the comments, if so. I'd love to hear your choosing and the reason behind it. 

The Maine Trip

We did it. After...wait here while I get out a calculator....feel free to hum to yourself as you wait...pretend it's hold music....I'm back... After twenty-seven years of marriage, Hubs and I went away for a long weekend by ourselves. Kind of. Sort of. Really not really.

After waking up at way-too-early o'clock in the morning, we boarded a plane and after two take-off and two-landings, we were in Maine. And, guess who was there to meet and greet us?! Our favorite #2 daughter!!!!!!! In case you missed it, she is a missionary with an awesome organization.

We flew in on her birthday so this momma was packin' semi-fresh cinnamon rolls. I think it only took her less than five hints for me to figure out what she wanted me to bring.

We met the rest of the missionary staff, shared the cinnamon rolls, and tour the church in which they meet. One of our vacation traditions was even accomplished on the first day. Good ol' Walmart shopping trip. Why is it we can never take a vacation with out stopping there at least once. Sigh.

It was a bit windy and cloudy
until the last day.

After checking in to our hotel on the beach. Did you catch that? On.the.beach. Since it is off-season it was so much cheaper than a hotel inland. As I was saying, after checking in to our hotel ON THE BEACH, we, and a fellow staffer, went to her favorite pizza place for a celebration of the day of her birth. Her favorite place was full of deliciousness!

Our last day there, we went to her church. I decided I really liked her pastor after he began by letting the congregation know one of the phrases used in today's society, "It is what it is", is like fingernails on a chalk board. I wanted to stand up and shout my agreement and FINALLY someone understood! But, I didn't. I would have died of embarrassment and since we already paid for our flight home that would just not be "good stewardship" of our money. ;)

I have been known to tell our little family that by saying that phrase it is just telling me you do not care and are not going to try. Guess what...yup, he basically said the same thing. He related it to the verses in Exodus when Moses was pleading for the people. God had "had it up to here" with His people. But Moses pleaded with God to not do away with them.

Just think about what would have happened if Moses would have said, "It is what it is," and moved on with his own life. No, he did something. It only took one person to make a difference. God heard him.

What about us? Are we "it is what it is-ing" to death? Or are we seeing what is going on and pleading with God through pray and petition? For example...and there are many but for the sake of argument...We may not all be able to go to a country and be instrumental in putting a stop to the horrific-ness of human trafficking. But, are we pleading with God to place people in places of difference? Are we pleading God to change the heart and mind of those violating those stuck in trafficking?

It was a thought-provoking sermon to end a wonderful trip.

It was a whirl-wind of a trip. We saw her favorite places and could just "be" with her. It was wonderful. We are so thankful the other staff members said, in so many words, "Go, have fun. Spend time with your family!" I loved being able to reach out and touch her (even though she's not a big fan of touch). To see her when I talked with her. We had a couple of great talks sitting on the bed of the hotel room. It was fabulous.

Father/Daughter bonding over engine oil. 

On the last day there was FINALLY a visible sunrise!!

What a glorious start to the last day in Maine!

Shower, Bats and a Recorder

"Tonight's the best night to view the Perseid Meteor Shower between midnight and 4 a.m. Look up and to the northeast," they said. It will be fun, they said.

I'm 40-cough years old and have yet to see a meteor shower no matter how many times I've looked. So, before I go to bed I make a deal with one of our daughters. "If you set your alarm to get up for the shower, wake me up and I'll go outside with you." Deal.

Shortly after mid-night we are donning hooded sweatshirts, sweat pants and boots. What, Fashion Police?! It was cool out last night.

What did I learn looking for said shower?

There are way too many bats flying around like they own the place. Which, in turn, brought back the bad memory of when two bats were flying laps inside our house. Although this happened many years ago, the trauma is real. I may have had a hard time falling asleep last night as I was reliving that traumatic time in my life.

I decided that I'm okay "holding up the house" as my viewing partner ventures out into the yard to get a better look. With the bats. BATS. Swooping bats. The house and I bonded and I'm okay with that.

I can neither confirm or deny we may have broken up some sort of "bug" party complete with music. Or perhaps we have a neighborhood ghost. (shrugs) Same thing. The music sounded like someone playing a recorder except way better than a 4th grader who is forced to learn the instrument. It was actually quite creepy especially when my viewing partner said, "I have never heard that before." And then...it stopped.

I, also, wondered why I have never learned to spot anything more than the big and little dipper and some dude's belt. Apparently one was to look a constellation that starts with an "S" then look down and find another that starts with a "P" and you'll see the meteor shower. Ummm....I saw the little dipper.

I looked straight up and saw lots of stars. I thought that was a great start. I tried not to blink until my eyes began to dry out. I thought, perhaps, just maybe, I saw one or two meteors but then I couldn't figure out if it was because I finally blinked or if the bats swooping into my view made an optical illusion.

So, basically that is a half hour of sleep I'll never get back.

What did you learn last night?

Come. Sit. Breathe in Relief. Simply Tuesday.

"Oh, yes, that happened to me, too. When it happened to me, I just..."

From that point I take off with an elaborate story complete with facial expressions and hand gestures. [Big sigh and shaking my head] No. I'm not dramatic in the least.

In the past, I thought it was helpful for the other person to know she isn't alone. Problems, fears, you name it, happen to all of us. But, am I competing with the other person when I throw 'been there, done that, survived' into the ring of discussion and make it about me?

I'm not saying relating to a person by saying, "it happened to me" isn't helpful. But, I believe there is a time and place for it.

I'm reading a great book by author Emily P. Freeman entitled Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World. It is one of those books in which you've highlighted a tremendous amount of sentences and/or paragraphs it has you wonder if you should own stock in the yellow highlighter company! I come from a long line of "you do not write or highlight in a book...books are for reading". So, to say I have actually colored most of my book...well, the struggle is real.

As I was innocently reading chapter 7, I began to feel conviction in my soul. It is a chapter of connection and competition and a mention of the dreaded people-pleaser. [dun-dun-dunnnn] Hi. I'm Deanna and I'm a people-pleaser. [sigh] As the author so aptly wrote, "It's an issue of safety and control [ouch], which is a subtle form of competition, the enemy of connection [double ouch]."

When I turn the conversation to me, even though I think I'm helping, I really begin to take away her safety in our communication. I steer away from her and point to me. "...people need our with-ness" not me trying to think of what to say next to make her feel better. Counselor, I am not. Fixer, sometimes...okay most of the time...people just want someone to hear them not fix them. Did you hear me? Really hear them. And, when we really hear them, "we need not compete, we need only to connect".

Am I practicing what I've just confessed? I'm trying. Really trying. When I revert back to my old ways, I'm much more aware. It gives me permission to be. To hear.

I can invite her onto a bench of connection and safety. A bench where the world slows down and breathes. A bench of stillness - of just being. A bench of sharing and being heard. A bench where the Holy Spirit talks to us and through us. A place of smallness in this huge world.

When is the last time you've sat still for five minutes and just breathed? Yeah, I can't remember either.

Psst...come close. Inhale and release. Felt good, huh. Go on - sit, breathe, and be okay in your smallness.



More about Simply Tuesday:

Emily's book is about so much more. I highly, highly, highly [have I convinced you to read it yet?] recommend Simply Tuesday. You'll look at our "church-y" words in a brand new way...and hopefully stop using some of them. You'll see it's okay to be small in a world full of voices shouting one needs to be big in power or fame to make a difference. Pssst...you can make a huge difference in the lives around you by just being you.

So, basically...go buy it already!!

(Silly legal stuff: I received an Advanced Readers Copy and am part of Emily's launch team. I was only asked to give an honest review and help promote the book.)

Of Doors and Men

This is NOT our porch but
how cute is this?! 

Our front porch screen door is literally on one hinge. We've stopped using the door unless it is an emergency. Like the UPS man delivering a package and we need to run outside as quickly as possible so the dog doesn't scare him into a flight or fight mode. You know, emergency situations. 

Of course said door is a special order size in which we need to wait and pray hubs measured the opening correctly because non-refundable! Three weeks later and a few slams to get it shut after said emergency situation above, hubs and son go to pick up the door. Tonight, they decided to tackle the job of putting it up. May God be with us all...

You know when you open a box with high expectations and you are clearly disappointed? Yeah, welcome to our world. 

We actually purchased two identical doors. One for the back, which was a common size and could bring it home from the store immediately, and the special order door due to sizing. We have an old, old, old, did I mention old, house. 

As in...let's take down the ugly wallpaper in the kitchen and laundry room said a much younger me. It will be fun. It was kind of fun until the laundry room walls began to come down with the wall paper. So the inexpensive, we will only have the paint cost and wallpaper glue removal cost, turned into removing the old laundry room plaster walls and putting up dry wall. Our marriage barely survived. You know, fun old house stuff. Anyway....

The men of the house tackled the back door hanging and after a few battles, won. It was quite a victorious sight. The dog, who has not known of a screen door since the old screen blew off it's hinges before said dog arrived to live with us, didn't know what to do with this monstrosity covering his beloved door...a.k.a...he was scared of the door. Yellow labs...a.k.a. scaredy-cats...are like that even though he does scare the UPS man. Good news is...he is use to it now. Back to the front door...

So, since we purchased two identical doors we knew something was amiss when there wasn't a decorative rectangle thingy (technical term) under the window on the bottom of the door. Call me weird, but now it just looks cheap, which in money terms was not cheap.

I called the company to find out if they do not attach the decoration when it is a special size or if they just forgot to put it on after cutting it down. I was warned by the person with whom I was talking that the phone battery on the phone she was using was about to die and if we get disconnected she'd call me back. Annnnndddd, five seconds later she was gone. 

After 15 minutes, the phone rang and after calling the door company, she had news. If a door is cut less than 77.5", the door company cannot put on the decorative rectangle thingy. Not enough room, they say. Guess what size we need? Go on...guess. You know you want to.... 

Seventy-seven inches. Yup, a half of an inch shy. I laughed. The lady from the store laughed....well, chuckled but still. Welcome to "just another chapter in our lives." When I was younger there would have been tears. Now...I just laugh. 

So, if you know where we live (and if you don't know and somehow find out...that is just creepy) and drive by, see our front porch screen door and think, "wow, now that is a cheap door." You now know the rest of the story. ☺

Legacy

Today was more emotional than I thought. Today was my uncle's funeral. He was the husband of my mom's oldest sister, who passed away nine years ago.

As the pastor said, "You could not think of one without the other." It was like he took the thoughts right out of my head and spoke them out loud.

My cousin, their youngest daughter, spoke of many things everyone loved about her dad. She shared how he asked her to live with him after her mom died. My cousin has a rare condition and they took care of one another. I learned of the prayers my aunt and uncle prayed while she was still living, carried on with my uncle and cousin after she had passed.

My cousin spoke of how they prayed for family, including nieces and nephews. That was the first emotion trigger. She spoke of how my uncle couldn't wait to be with his wife and all those who had gone before. Second emotion trigger.

She shared the prayer they would always say at night before each of them retired. Third emotion trigger. It was such a beautiful prayer. Of course, my cousin was emotional and since I'm a sympathetic crier...well, you get the picture.

My aunt and uncle (see I can't even talk about my uncle without including my aunt) were both so, so kind. And, nice. Yes, they had their faults like every human but their kindness was a beacon of light. My uncle had such a gentle spirit. He smoked when smoking a pipe was 'cool'. Whenever I smell that fake vanilla smell I remember the pipes on the pipe rack on the mantel.

They opened their home to many. Hospitality ran through their veins. My mom lived with them for a time before she and dad married. He courted her in that house. My cousins talk of how they would sneak down the stairs and mercilessly tease them as mom and dad sat together on the couch. It sounds like my cousin's job of making my mom's face turn red was the main goal.

Their legacy will be one of faith, kindness, mercy, love and hospitality. They will surely hear, "Well done good and faithful servant."

On the Throne

When the mountains shake and the earth spins wildly out of control, when the sky is cloudy and gloom seems all around...God is in control and on His Throne.

When the miracle of life is being grown and exciting days are blooming, when days on the calendar seem to go right after a spell of stinky days...God is in control and on His Throne.

Will we choose to love Him in bad times or just the good. Or will we question  why He "let' something happen if He is so powerful. He is still on His Throne in the good, the bad and downright ugly.

I want to be like those mentioned in Hebrews 11. Or as I call them, the "By Faith Guys". Their days did not consist of rose-colored glasses, puppy dogs romping all around or sunshine all the time. But, by faith they hung in there and obeyed their Father. God isn't calling everyone to build an ark or march around a wall for seven days but he is calling us to obedience and using our gifts.

"By Faith Guy"...who's with me on striving for that title?