Thursday, July 16, 2015

Of Doors and Men

This is NOT our porch but
how cute is this?! 
Our front porch screen door is literally on one hinge. We've stopped using the door unless it is an emergency. Like the UPS man delivering a package and we need to run outside as quickly as possible so the dog doesn't scare him into a flight or fight mode. You know, emergency situations. 

Of course said door is a special order size in which we need to wait and pray hubs measured the opening correctly because non-refundable! Three weeks later and a few slams to get it shut after said emergency situation above, hubs and son go to pick up the door. Tonight, they decided to tackle the job of putting it up. May God be with us all...

You know when you open a box with high expectations and you are clearly disappointed? Yeah, welcome to our world. 

We actually purchased two identical doors. One for the back, which was a common size and could bring it home from the store immediately, and the special order door due to sizing. We have an old, old, old, did I mention old, house. 

As in...let's take down the ugly wallpaper in the kitchen and laundry room said a much younger me. It will be fun. It was kind of fun until the laundry room walls began to come down with the wall paper. So the inexpensive, we will only have the paint cost and wallpaper glue removal cost, turned into removing the old laundry room plaster walls and putting up dry wall. Our marriage barely survived. You know, fun old house stuff. Anyway....

The men of the house tackled the back door hanging and after a few battles, won. It was quite a victorious sight. The dog, who has not known of a screen door since the old screen blew off it's hinges before said dog arrived to live with us, didn't know what to do with this monstrosity covering his beloved door...a.k.a...he was scared of the door. Yellow labs...a.k.a. scaredy-cats...are like that even though he does scare the UPS man. Good news is...he is use to it now. Back to the front door...

So, since we purchased two identical doors we knew something was amiss when there wasn't a decorative rectangle thingy (technical term) under the window on the bottom of the door. Call me weird, but now it just looks cheap, which in money terms was not cheap.

I called the company to find out if they do not attach the decoration when it is a special size or if they just forgot to put it on after cutting it down. I was warned by the person with whom I was talking that the phone battery on the phone she was using was about to die and if we get disconnected she'd call me back. Annnnndddd, five seconds later she was gone. 

After 15 minutes, the phone rang and after calling the door company, she had news. If a door is cut less than 77.5", the door company cannot put on the decorative rectangle thingy. Not enough room, they say. Guess what size we need? Go on...guess. You know you want to.... 

Seventy-seven inches. Yup, a half of an inch shy. I laughed. The lady from the store laughed....well, chuckled but still. Welcome to "just another chapter in our lives." When I was younger there would have been tears. Now...I just laugh. 

So, if you know where we live (and if you don't know and somehow find out...that is just creepy) and drive by, see our front porch screen door and think, "wow, now that is a cheap door." You now know the rest of the story. ☺


  1. Ha ha, yeah, that pretty much sums up life, doesn't it? I will make you a sign that says, "Never judge a door by it's lack of decorative rectangle thingy." :)