- Riding my new bike before the kindergarten bus arrived only to find myself becoming quite familiar with a mud hole as the bus pulled in the drive.
- Getting pushed from behind by some "friends" in Jr High while climbing the stairs to the second floor classes and falling on top of one of the cutest and coolest guys in school. He turned around and gave me a look like it was all my fault...my face was beet red for years!
- How about the time I couldn't get out of the bathroom at a friends lake house. Oh yeah, that was a great time. The knob turned but didn't release the door. I started to contemplate jumping out the window but was afraid my rear would get stuck in the window. Finally, finally, I got the door open ONLY to find a woman staring at me. She said, and I quote, "Did you have some trouble getting out?" In my horror I only warned her not to lock the door....I really wanted to slug her! I mean really, what kind of person wouldn't try to help you or at least ask if you are okay if they hear/see you trying to get out and you can't....shesh!
- Having your children watch you being chased around the yard by a tiny mouse while your screaming hysterically is right on top of the list...yup, too bad you weren't here to witness that one!
- Birds. Did you know I am terrified of birds? Yup. I love to hear them sing but fly too close to me and I will sing a song of my own in deafening screams! We had two chicken coops growing up and one of them had a floor (not cages) for the chickens to roam freely inside. Roosters were always the trouble makers and felt the need to follow me and try to peck me. Traumatized me, it did. Flash forward to mowing lawn and having barn swallows swoop AT ME. Or the times they swooped at me while I was just minding my own business crossing the yard. And I am known to use one of our children as a shield....I'm not proud of that...just self-preservation.
- Birds -- part 2: Location: a beach in FL. Objective: to eat a nice picnic lunch on the beach with my friend. Suspects: fowl, creepy seagulls with very pointy beaks (shiver). Long, long story short...my friend and I had to stealth-ly eat our sandwiches...first her then me. Well, apparently the ugly suspects thought I was getting a little too cocky with my sandwich. I only had two bites to go when the thief came in for the steal! It. Was. So. Gross. (shiver, again!) Well, the embarrassing part is when I was out of my head with fright and screamed, "I hate birds!" and proceeded to walk to the ocean to wash off any traces of what the thief could have given me....like a major disease or something!! I had a few people look at me like I was possessed or something! Ugh!
- Do I have more juicy stories of embarrassment? You bet...but I'll spare you. Because some are just not pretty!
The Thief is the white bird in the back (right side). The dude in front (left-side) is the look-out!
Have a great weekend!