Run Run Runaway

from flickr

I'm really going to do it this time! They'll never find me at Grandpa and Grandma's house. Thought my angry nine-year-old self as I tried to tie all my stuff into a bandanna. I still had to look for a stick in which to attach it, but, as soon as I found one, I was out of there.

Apparently I wasn't the smartest when it came to running away from home. I have this image of myself on the floor of my bedroom trying to find a stick in which to tie on the bandanna filled with all my precious things. Because everyone who ran away looks like a hobo and all worldly processions fit into a bandanna.

Yes, I had/have a vivid imagination. I even got out the door without my mom seeing me and made it as far as the neighbors before turning around. I remember looking back to see if anyone noticed or missed me yet.

I don't remember why I wanted to runaway. My parents probably wouldn't let me have something I really needed wanted. And, my Grandparent's house. Yeah, that was only a quarter of a mile away and would have been the first place they would have looked. I was a brave child. Ha.

Psst. Come close to the screen. (she looks to her left, to her right, then whispers) There are days I still want to runaway. (big sigh) 

The reasons are not as small as when I was a child. Right now, the reasons are...well, life. Life. (another big sigh) Life can be joyful. Yet life can be a big pain. I start looking around at others who seemingly have life all together. Their life is easy and fun. They go places, do things, never have any problems (or so it seems). I start comparing. I get discouraged. I get envious. I get down. Why can't my life be easy?! 

I just want to runaway from this thing called life (no this is not a cry for help). I call my friend. She wants to runaway, too. However, our money tree has not blossomed...yet. So, we wait. And, wait. We are still waiting.

My first problem? Comparison. Envy and bitterness come in a close second. And, can we talk about "not fair" problems? I feel small. I want to be noticed. Yes, I'm a mess...as always.

Do I think there is anything wrong with feeling any of those emotions? Nope. God gave us emotions for a reason. I can feel "blue"** and down. But, it's okay. I can feel overwhelmed...again, okay. As in the movie Inside Out notes, sadness and joy go hand in hand.

It's in these moments I need to remember to run to God instead of running away. Remembering His promises and me putting one foot in front of the other as I remember to hold on tight. Joy comes in the morning. And, our mourning can turn into dancing!

Note: I've received an advance readers copy of a book you are going to want to pre-order. Go check it out. Oh, how my copy has multiple sentences highlighted per page. Yes, you will want this book! I'll write about it more as the release approaches. 

**"blue" is not depression. Depression is serious and treatment by a professional is often required. I'm not making light of depression. I've walked with a few friends and it is not for the faint of heart. If you think you or someone you know may have depression, seek help.