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Saturday, December 10, 2011

Time Marches On

Sunday will mark one year since this tragic accident. It is hard to believe. Hard to digest. Hard to know what the family is really going through.

I've lost loved ones in the past. But, I can't even begin to know what it is like for others who grieve. You see, grief is unique to everyone. Sure, we go through the same stages of grief. We all may experience the same feelings of sadness when certain dates roll around. But, no one knows the person who died like you do. No one can know the person like you do. We all know a person in our own way. Love that person in our own way. We cannot compare our grief with others. We all grieve in our own ways. And, believe it or not, that is okay!

To some, it may look like a person is "moving on" (bad choice of wording but one people use...new normal may be a better term) too quickly or not fast enough. We can't think that way. We all grieve differently. Some may be hiding behind a mask in public but when alone...it is a whole different story. Some may want and need to "move on" or "find a new normal for them" because of small children they need to parent or any other reason. It doesn't mean they didn't/don't love that person they grieve. No.

Don't judge with a critical eye or tongue. Be kind and gentle with those who are in the grief process. Talk about the loved one lost to those grieving. Or, saying nothing with the mouth but so much through a hug.

Grief is hard. So very hard. Finding a new normal with a loved one is hard. So very hard. Life may get a little easier as time marches on. But, you'll never get "over it". You'll just know how to survive your new normal and still miss that special person(s) forever. Memories and love help get us through.

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